Although I never forget how unworthy we are, we are so blessed and so thankful. The L-rd is incredibly good to us; He provides for every need and protects at every moment.

Yesterday, I was leaving work and on my way to pick up Al. I was taking a little different route and as I crossed an intersection, a man pulled out of a parking lot on the right side (trying to go around another car pulling out from the same place) and of course, didn't see me coming. I saw him coming out, but it was too late - I slammed on the brakes and felt that huge crash. My whole body flew forward, protected by the seatbelt. Even though it was not my fault, I was very nervous and shaken up. I just knew our "new" little Esperanca was crushed. When I got out, to my complete amazement, our car was fine. Only the license plate was smashed, but the bumper and car were fine. His car took the brunt of the damage - his entire bumper shifted to the far side. But we were both fine.

The thoughts that ran through my mind at that moment amazed me. I thought: "Hey, stupid, what are you doing?!!! This guy is in for it. I am soooo gonna call the police after I call Al."

I mean, really, how unloving, unforgiving and incompassionate (if that is a word) could I be? I didn't give the guy a chance. I normally don't give people a chance. As I got out and saw his face, how he pleaded with me that I shouldn't call the police - somehow, in some way unknown to me, my rage faded. I called Al, told him about the damage, and we decided to just let it be. (Al hammered the plate back into shape at the house.)

Later on, my thoughts returned: "I should have called the cops. I should have made him pay for a new bumper. I should have, would have, could have...." I even scolded myself for not "going with my gut."

But the fact is, I "pull out" in front of the L-rd's will for me on a daily basis. I am so impatient to know what is around the corner that I wait for him to crash into me leaving Him with all the reason in the world to let me "have it." And sometimes, yeah, He lets me have it. But most of the time, His mercy and forgiveness amaze me. He still wants me to drive away and try to follow the right path. I don't believe that His disagreement with my actions ever goes away - after all, He is just and true. But somehow, in some way unknown to me, it is faded out by the light of His love for me.